November 5th, 2008

As I floated toward consciousness, the cat was meowing. "Shh," whispered G, petting the cat, letting me sleep just a little later. A morning like every other morning.

When I opened my eyes, G was flipping the blinds open. As the first dawn light glowed into the room, he looked at me and smiled.

"You're not saying anything," I grumbled. "That's bad."

"What?" G asked, leaning down for my good-morning hug and kiss.

"You're not telling me who won and that means it's bad..." I mumbled into his neck, grappling my arms around him, trying to suck his wide-awake perkiness through skin-to-skin contact, like a leech.

G chuckled. "I haven't looked yet. I don't know who won. But I have a feeling you will be pleased."

I grumbled something and slipped back into bed. G turned on the radio as he left, and some asinine comedy bit blared into the room. I cursed my uncooperative muscles, forcing me to lie there.

And then the news came on.

I was relieved... sort of. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be bounding out of bed, running into the halls and out into the street, like those people in Times Square last night. Instead, I just feel nervous. A sense of foreboding. Worry.

Is this how a mother feels when she sends her kid off to their first job?

Sitting at my desk this morning, I opened the New York Times Homepage. They are clearly thrilled. What sort of headline had they planned if McCain won?

Is the fighting really going to end?

More than anything, I feel trepidatious. I feel like I'm the one in the White House, like this is all my responsibility. Because it is. It's the responsibility of every American citizen to vote from the heart, to choose the person we believe will best care for our home. So Barack, my fellow Illinoisian, we're in this together. I may not have money to donate, but whatever I can do in my limited capacity to make this country a better place, I pledge to do my best. Just like I believe you will. May I give you a piece of advice that has always served me well?

Listen to others. Surround yourself with really, really smart people, and listen to them. You don't have to do EVERYTHING they say, but listen. Learn.

And into the breach we go.