Thursday, January 24, 2008

Nervous Breakdown Scheduled for 6PM Friday Night

I found this unpublished draft, written shortly after Thanksgiving:

Monday: Work a job normally done by three people.

Monday night: file not found

Tuesday night: G's and my blood test results are in. He has elevated cholesterol. I am a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis.

Later Tuesday night: attempt to order wedding invitations: unsuccessful. Email sent to wedding planner to confirm LAST MINUTE FUCKING DETAIL. Attempt to order Ketubah unsuccessful. Vendor only does business by phone during regular working hours.

Wednesday: Still the only support staff in the department.

Wednesday night: Cook a delightfully fragrant vegetable curry for dinner, served with almond couscous. Freshly baked Apple crisp for dessert. G and I indulge in a much-needed bitchfest while sweating from the heat of too much cayenne pepper, which seems perfectly appropriate.

Later Wednesday night: Gym. Increased all my weights by 5 to 10 pounds.

Even Later Wednesday night: Bank. Deposit checks from my spa job. I will wait to spend them for awhile in case they bounce LIKE TWO PREVIOUS ONES HAVE.

Still later Wednesday night: Call Mom and inform her that she's had three months to tell me who to invite to this fucking wedding, and I need her to DO IT NOW. Another much-needed bitchfest ensues. Mom sighs. "I love you, and wish I could be with you." I sigh too. "Something else for us to survive," I mutter.

Thursday morning: Traffic like slogging through elephant shit.

Thursday: THANK G-D THE JOB IS AT LEAST CONSISTENT.

Thursday evening: Client at 5:45

Later Thursday evening: Order invitations. Have sex.

Friday: Job. Blessed, mundane, predictable, quiet job.

Friday night: Nervous Breakdown complete with screaming, wailing and crying.


If I remember correctly, my scheduled nervous breakdown had to be postponed. Which is fine, because I had it January seventh, at about 7:30pm.

2 comments:

Hot Toddy said...

If you are going to break down, I think it is best to carefully schedule it. :)

Pua; Bakin' and Tendin' Bar said...

My favorite part of the schedule:

"Later Thursday evening: Order invitations. Have sex."

:)

Hopefully, the nervous breakdown stage has passed. Happy New Year.
With love.