Welcome Home

Cancun was perfect. Well, it could have been warmer. I was in jeans and sweaters every night, and the water was (no really!) too cold to swim two of the days we were there. But... the sand was powdery, the hammocks swung gently, the frosty beverages were sweet, the eye candy was everywhere, and the king-sized bed in our hotel room was... you get the idea. Most of my skin is a lovely shade of red, some patches of brown. My summer freckles have been activated, and I look like goddamn Holly Hobbie, but G doesn't seem to mind. Pics here.

My temp assignment at the bank is over. I was unceremoniously yanked. They waited until I was on vacation, left me a voicemail, and that's that. The poor bank. They had no warning at all. They were a bit attached to me. They are not happy about the temp agency simply taking me away from them without any notice. Part of me wonders if I won't be getting a phone call from one of my supervisors, but I sincerely hope I don't. I don't see them paying me enough to make that commute worthwhile. So, it's been fun, so long fellas. I'm back on the rolls of unemployment.

I may have an interview on Friday with a recruiter. A lady recruiter. I can't tell you how nice it feels to be meeting with a woman. After my experiences in my last two office jobs, the thought of shaking hands with another fat white guy in a suit, feeling his sweaty sausage fingers in my hand while his eyes wash over me in that scrutinizing way... God, my stomach churns. Can I just work with women for a while please?

Hopefully this nice lady will find me a job. She seems SO enthusiastic. She's even willing to drive into Nyack to interview me at a coffee shop in my neighborhood, as I don't have a car to get to Westchester. Impressive. She also says she doesn't get a lot of temp work and wants to put me in a settled, permanent job. Gee. Ok. A real job? That pays enough for me to afford to buy a car? Is it possible?

In other news, I'm also wondering if an essay I submitted to a magazine might actually get published. I submitted it after the deadline, but they emailed me and said they are considering it. They asked me to reformat and resend, so I did. Who knows? No big deal if they don't use it, but if they did, wouldn't that be cool? Especially since its a particularly great mag. I'll keep you posted on that.

My Grandma's funeral was a life-affirming experience. I will miss her, of course... but I realize that I am missing that part of my family more than I realized. Those cousins of mine seem to genuinely care about me. My aunts and uncles too. Not because they have to care about me, because I'm their brother's daughter or we have shared ancestry... they actually seem to want to know me, who I am, how I feel about things. I'm so used to dreading seeing them, and everytime I do see them, in recent years, I never want to leave. Ironically, I always look forward to seeing my Mom's family (the New Jersey Italian and Irish Catholics), and every time we visit them, I spend weeks bitching about what spoiled, tiny-life idiots they've all grown up to be, and how bitterly disappointed in them I am, that we seem to have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. I always thought I'd feel that way about the Baptists in Dad's family, the seperatists who hate big cities, who don't drink, or listen to rock music, or read anything other than church-approved materials, who think women should be submissive to men no matter how they are treated, or how much smarter they are than their husbands... My perceptions have been turned upside down.

My parents seem a bit closer to each other, and it warms my heart. All of my cousins and I are reaching out for each other just a bit. All of our parents are too. We are all aware of the generation which has left us. The wheel rolls on.

Wish me luck this week.