Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Peace, Remembrance, Hope, Forgiveness

The names are being read right now, in my living room. Someone is playing a wistful tune on a guitar, a tune that seems to have risen forth from someone's memory. I have cried several times.

I was lucky. I was one of the lucky ones. I lost no loved ones. Yet I mourn for those who did, those complete strangers who are my sisters and brothers in humanity. I have friends who barely escaped with their lives, and I have friends who lost loved ones, but I myself was extremely lucky. I will never take that blessing for granted. I honor this blessing by not punishing myself for it - I don't believe I was given that gift so that I might live in misery, guilt and self-sacrifice. I believe I am meant to celebrate life, and all that being an inhabitant of planet Earth has to offer.

My entire life has changed since then, for the better. I hope I have found favor with the divine, for the choices I have made. I hope I am living a "right life," in my new career as a massage therapist, with my new resolve to no longer temp at companies I don't feel good about, with my commitment to raise a family with a man I respect and share values and beliefs with. I hope that I am doing my part to represent the best of humanity... as imperfect as I may be.

I have worked hard to forgive those who have hurt me, and in a few instances I still work at it. I also work to remember the many gifts given to me over the years by good, loving people. I remember the connections, however brief, and am grateful for them every day.

I have seen nothing in this morning's memorial service which inspires any negative feelings in me. I am proud of everyone involved. I am proud of everyone I see who make efforts toward peace, who works toward helping and supporting others. I'm proud to be a member of the human race.

I believe in Us.

1 comment:

Jess said...

I didn't lose loved ones. Like you, I was lucky that way. But friends of ours lost loved ones. One friend lost 4 family members, including his brother. We went to memorial services, but even if we didn't we still would have felt the blow. I can't imagine living here and not feeling it!