I feel hungover, like I've been passed out for three days. Meaning, I do feel better, I think the flu is passing away from me. My body is EXHAUSTED.
In spite of this, I'm going to TRY and make it to services tonight at our local temple. If nothing else I know the music is great there.
I feel like I've come through a war. A familiar feeling. I have been at war with myself, in a way. Not wanting to admit to some feelings, finally dragging them out of myself, opening myself up to the rage. Now the storm is passing, and I'm feeling... not exactly less vulnerable, but more empowered to armor myself and get back into life. I made a grocery list, I'm cleaning the house, I'm thinking about slowly, gently, doing a little bit of laundry. If only the laundry room didn't involve going up and down all those stairs. *BAER*
It's nice to have this blog to vomit into, expel all the darkness. Facebook is great, but I need this too.
It's been two weeks since the D&C. Actually, as of last Wednesday, it was two weeks. Meaning I can have sex again. Making it even MORE UNFAIR that I got the flu RIGHT WHEN I COULD FINALLY GET SOME. Just PROLONG MY AGONY for G-d's sake. So if I'm healthy enough to go to shul tonight, I am SO getting some after.