I'm feeling so much better, in every way.
The flu is finally gone, out of my system. From my research, it is entirely possible that I did indeed have the Flu du Jour, H1N1, Popularly known as Swine Flu. Apparently it is a short lived flu, which mine was, and isn't any more deadly or vicious than other common human flus. I was in the city, both Chicago and Manhattan, and I was at the local mall, so I have been breathing air with tons of strangers. It may also have an incubation time of several days, which explains why I was in public on Saturday but didn't feel symptoms until Tuesday.
Oink, oink. I was born in the Year of the Pig.
Also, I released so much negativity a few days prior. Between writing the blog post about my Anger, and later on, confiding in my husband and indulging in a little rage fest in the car on the way home from the gym, I opened myself up and flushed a lot of bad vibes. I feel clean again.
I even purged my closet yesterday. I felt restless, but still not sure it would be wise to go to the gym just yet. So I cleaned out my closet and donated SEVEN pairs of shoes. I am a shoe addict, so for me, that's a big deal. Some of those shoes I've been hanging on to for almost a decade. They look hot, but I never wear them. They are painful. OUT. OUT WITH THE PAIN.
I even indulged in some retail therapy on Saturday, and bought *Confess! I must confess!* TWO new pairs of shoes. Of course this motivated my closet purge. I made a deal with myself that I would buy NO MORE SHOES unless I was prepared to throw out an existing pair. So here I went. But the cool thing: The shoes I bought are far more practical, and comfortable, than the ones I donated. One is a pair of silvery sandals, but they are aerosoles, and super-comfy, and HALF-PRICE. The other is a pair of platform wedge-heel all-black leather sandals with woven leather straps that wrap around the ankle and buckle. They're classy and edgy all at once. And crazy comfortable. And HALF-PRICE.
I also bought some $5 tank tops at Old Navy, and was thrilled to see that they are bringing some old clothes of mine back to life. I have a skirt that I never wear because it doesn't go with much, and it does nothing for my figure. These tanks are long, and layer, and one is the perfect shade of grey. Two of them ruche perfectly, and top the skirt like they were made for it. I have so missed that flippy little skirt... and so has G.
Doing the wardrobe purge always makes me feel re-oriented. So as of yesterday evening, I was feeling relaxed, happy, and clean again, inside and out.
I honestly don't think about my pregnancy very much. I'm in a really good place about it. I'm more grateful for the experience than anything else. Once I was aware of it, it was a truly magical two weeks. This was a test for G and I, and we passed with flying colors. It reaffirmed how well-matched we are, and how perfectly in sync we are about the larger things in life. In a sense it brought us closer together. We have been more affectionate lately, more grateful for each other, and more eager to show it. We know we have come through something very deep, together, holding hands and hearts every step of the way.
G and I attended Friday night services at our local temple last week. It was a "Rock Shabbat," with all the prayers sung in modern musical style, with a band. The Cantor is incredible, and managed to make it sound truly cool and heartfelt, rather than cheesy. She's the Jewish Sandi Patti. I wanted to attend, and G was pretty pooped that evening, but he was happy to attend with me, and I loved the service. It was all music, from start to finish. My language.
Last week, I met with the Rabbi for an hour, to discuss details of my conversion. I suppose it's natural, after all this, that now seems like a good time to get that project off the back burner. Especially after my communion with the Goddess last week. My local rabbi is very cool, rather young, soft-spoken and adorable sparkling eyes and a childlike smile. I'm very comfortable with him. He's sending me the schedule of classes, which I am SO excited to take! G will be attending with me, and I'm thrilled to start this new journey.
I feel like I've gone as far as I can go with my independent studies and exploration of Judaism. All the rest of my question are only going to be answered by embarking on this quest. So... the time is right.
I will also be attending regular Friday night services. That's one hell of a commitment, for G and me! So I'm busy now, every Friday night from 8 to 9. Oh well. The parties never start until 11 anyway. Even the Karaoke doesn't start until 9:30.
I'm back on my feet... and in a couple of hours, I'll be back at the gym. And in four weeks, I'll be back at the beach! And then... hopefully, shortly thereafter... I'll be back to babymaking, G-d willing.