I realized today that I never posted this. I did it weeks ago!

I think maybe the reason I didn't post it is that after I answered the questions, I went back and read them, and said to myself "Where the hell did I get THAT shit? That's not true at all!!" I went through three revisions. Then I think the phone rang (I was at work) and I forgot all about the thing.

It's said that often, the first thing that comes to mind is the truth, and revisions are you trying to make something you like better be the truth. That may be so. I think, though, that truth is extremely difficult to define. As far as the below questions go, truth in these answers changes over time. Ask yourself how you would have answered these questions now, at age 12, at age 6. I'll bet (I hope!) that my answers will be very different 6 years from now. Which leads to the whole point:

THE FIVE QUESTIONS:

1. What is one thing about your life now that surprises you?

How easily I make friends! I was the nerdy kid who sat in the back of the room, got A's, and never talked. My attempts at friendship were usually very short-lived. I didn't make lasting friends until far into High-School - and they sought me out, for reasons I've never been able to fathom. College was a little better, but not much. Moving to New York was the turning point. I never imagined I would be so socially successful. I came out of my shell in New York and I AIN'T GOIN BACK!

2. If you were an animal, which one would you be...and why?

Easy. A cat. I think I may have been one in a previous life. Think about it. They scratch by for their existence, seem to have a good time in spite of this, and are always meticulously groomed.

Wait a minute. I am a cat.

3. When are you happiest?

I answer this question differently depending on when it is asked. For the last 2 years, happiness equals being able to relax. In order for that to happen, I need to physically relax, which is very hard for me. Then, I can actually allow my mind to empty. This is usually more likely to happen on a beach than a massage table. And it takes hours. Sometimes days.

I think a more realistic overall answer is when I'm in the company of people who I trust deeply, who I know love me, who I love in return, and can find a few moments to truly believe that things really will be OK.

4. If you could go back to "you" 15 years ago and tell her something, what would you tell her?

Fuck the shit-heads you go to school and do theatre with. In fact, non-physically, Fuck everyone. Study your ass off, get better grades, and run - don't walk - from every guy that comes near you except the short blonde one. Major in Music. Then I would show her the photos on my bookshelves of how fabulous her New York Life is going to be and the amazing friends she will make.

5. If your 15-years-older-than-you-now self could come back and talk to you from the future, what would you ask her? What would you hope to hear?

I would ask her what is the most important thing I should bear in mind for the next few years. In addition to that, I hope she will tell me how I eventually made it out of debt without declaring bankruptcy.

The Five Questions Game:

1. Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I will respond by asking you five questions.
3. You’ll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4. You’ll include this explanation.
5. You’ll ask other people five questions if they want to be interviewed.

Thanks, B, for helping me plumb the depths, so to speak. Today, it felt more like being dragged into the pool and having my head shoved underwater, but isn't that what friends are for?