This morning, the bitter ladies in the coffee room were back to screaming about how they think someone threw the coffee scoop away. One woman ranted and raved about this as though her taxes were being raised or her house had been ransacked.
I took two final exams Monday night, and feel good about them. Last night I coasted. Tonight and tomorrow night are my finals in my science classes.
Last night, as my class was returning from our 5-minute snack break, one of my classmates told me that the daytime instructor was telling her that there are some very smart people in the evening classes, especially this one girl. "He must have meant you," she said. I was embarrassed and said "No, he must have meant Shelly," indicating another gal in class. But inside I glowed.
I didn't say much for the rest of the evening. I've felt for a long time that the contents of my head were of little or no value to the forces moving New York. The jobs I get are grunt work, and I take them because, well, I'm not proud, and frankly, that's all I'm offered. Jobs involving creativity, or any headwork other than number crunching are considered plums these days, I suppose. So I've settled into a life where my ability to efficiently pack filing cabinets and boxes and answer the phone for others earns me money. This blog is where I do my thinking, my feeling, and my creating.
I guess, without realizing it, I managed to do some thinking at school as well. I certainly do a lot of feeling, but I try not to talk about it. I feel like quite the number there. The adminstration isn't exactly focused on student well-being, so I do what I'm required to do to stay in compliance, I get along with my classmates during the breaks, I bite my tongue with my instructors, and I go home and bitch to G when I need to. Hearing someone at school say that I'm thought of as smart... well, that's a validation I wasn't expecting.
Actually that's not the first compliment I've received there. One client I worked on in clinic told the supervisors that I was an asset to the program.
I'm just gonna hold onto these nice things for awhile.