To the lonely, blonde, bitter single woman down the hall,
You aren't pretty enough to be a goldigger, so stop bragging about how you need to be bought diamond jewelry or a man isn't worth your time. You don't have a man in your life and have never been married. The material girl image isn't working for you.
And I have a right to my happiness. I paid my dues. If you choose to blame the rest of the world for your lack of fulfillment, don't come spreading your malhumeur all over my $35 blowout.
Get a shrink, for god's sake. And try a miniskirt while you're at it. If you can't handle relationships at least go get yourself laid. A good orgasm once every ten years does wonders for your attitude. Here, have a condom.
There's a bar down the street full of hot firemen that will be happy to release as much of that pent-up hostility as you're willing to let go.
Oh wait. You need that, don't you? That's the entire basis for your personality.
Never mind. Just go away.
*taking back the condom*