Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Resolution: Self-Care

For breakfast yesterday morning, I had 1/2 a grapefruit, a small carton of skim milk, and a slice of wheat toast with low-fat cream cheese.

That's right, for the first time in the better part of a year, possibly longer, I ate something other than peanut butter on toast for breakfast. And I SKIPPED THE COFFEE.

I feel ok. Not great, but not bad either.

I got that breakfast meal directly off the Weight Watchers website. For lunch I had a small spread of egg salad on a wrap and some vegetable soup. For dinner it was Lean cuisine. Tomorrow I renew my gym membership.

I bought three new swimsuits, and you know what? I don't look that great in any of them. I don't look disgusting, as I am reasonably well-built, but I'm certainly not winning any bikini contests here. The truth is, I look far better with more clothes on than less. This is not something I'm used to. This must change. It's summer, and I tend to dress rather skimpy when it's hot. Right now, looking in the mirror… I'm not liking what I see.

I determinedly attended the GB:NY3 gathering last Friday night, in spite of horrific traffic from work, slow trains, pouring rain, a broken umbrella which I threw in the trash long before I made it to the bar, and underneath it all some residual sniffles and hacking from the sinusitis that knocked me out the previous weekend. I am so glad I went, as I got to actually talk to some bloggers I hold dear to my heart. I got some good girl-talk with Tuna Girl over being engaged. The brilliant Mike B was there, and the near-celebrity Joe! I got lots of snuggles from Jase (always therapeutic!), and I caught a quick kiss from MAK and the pond-hopping Bob (who arrived just as I was leaving!) I got to catch up with Kieran and my dear friend Frank, snapped funny photos with Mark and Brian and Crash and Patrick, and got to touch Palochi's chest. Ok, it was just his silk shirt, but hey, I'm a straight girl, and I was soaking wet. (From the RAIN.) I saw Glenn and his sweetie Derek for the first time in >gasp< two years. And I met some awesome new bloggers as well.

Seeing people I dig is good for me. I wish I could have done more of that on Saturday, but my sniffles were out of control. I must resolve to socialize more... somehow. Even G encourages me to go out with my girlfriends and gayfriends, reminding me how glad I am every time I come home, full of stories about what everyone was wearing, and who's groping who, and what vile concoction we all were drinking, and much I've missed my buds. This is a part of the picture as well.

Today, I've only eaten half a cup of coffee and a whole-grain toaster waffle. I woke up with a pounding headache, and had to "Lie it out" in the dark until about an hour ago. Migraine. So I guess I'm having those again. I was six years without them... so they're back. Oddly, the specter of having migraines back in my life doesn't really phase me. Dental surgery and stuff is far more daunting. That's still on the horizon.

I've been wrist-slapped by my doctor, my friends, my mother, my teachers, and my classmates about not taking care of myself recently. They're right. Maybe now, as this heinous job is ending, and my second semester is also ending, I can commit to some health basics, at least for a few weeks. Hopefully for the summer. Longer?

Better not bite off more than I can chew.

After all, I can see - right there in my bikini bottoms - where that's gotten me.

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