My 100th Journal, my first Blog

Ok, maybe not the 100th, but it feels that way. I've been journaling since I was around 10 years old. Frankly I don't remember my first journal, but I do remember writing something about a summertime visit to Grandma and Grandpa in Jersey. Hopefully this blog will NOT turn into online rantings and ravings. The idea of writing something you KNOW everybody's going to see is pretty intimidating.

SO: enough of the disclaiming. There is so much going on in my life right now that I don't know where to begin.

I'm broke and trying to turn my financial situation around
I'm going through a divorce and trying to turn my depression around
I've been anemic, anxiety-ridden and just plain unhealthy for the last 14 months and am trying to turn my health around.
shall we say... I'm unhappy... in my job and am trying to turn my professional life around - preferably in a whole new direction
My bedroom in my apartment is tiny and I'm amazed I can turn around. Sometimes I think my cat can't turn around
My grandma is dying slowly of Alzheimer's and I'm trying... I'm just trying to deal.

In spite of all the above, I'm a pretty happy person. I have a lot of friends at my church (Look! a Link!) and am finding myself more and more involved there. I have a lot of friends just from life in general, and though we all live spread out over the country, I think we do a decent job of keeping in touch. I have 4 in Chicago, 1 in Colorado, 1 in Baltimore, 2 in Virginia, 1 in DC, 1 in St. Louis, several in downstate Illinois (I'm from there), 1 in Korea, and several in New York (where I live now). My parents and I have a fantastic relationship (believe me it took a lot of work) and we miss each other dreadfully. Not to sound wimpy, but I call them almost every day. Add to that all my family - who I actually don't mind being with - and my cat, and I am, truly, never alone. I also have strong spirituality and faith in the divine spirit. So, yeah. I mean yeah. I'm sayin' yeee-ah.

You know, I perked myself up just writing all that.

I have to thank Betsy for getting me started. She and I have this mutual admiration society - we each see things in the other that we wish we had. I think all friendships should be that way. I have an apartment in Manhattan and I sing. She has... Oh, man, she's almost got it all. Her blog doesn't do her justice. Maybe through my blog she'll start seeing herself through my eyes. (Getting nervous, Bets?)

CURRENT NEWS:
Tonight at 6:30 PM I'm going to a Full Moon Circle at my church. Now, don't get me wrong - my church just lets us use the space. I'm a good, intellectual, feet-on-the-ground Unitarian Universalist. But, I happen to practice earth-centered spirituality. Do the internet research, I'm not going to bother explaining the details of Paganism or UUism, etc. The women I circle with are all smart, professional, funny ladies who I just love being with, and who I learn so much from every time we hang out. I get the majority of my spiritual sustenance from those circles.

Tomorrow I'm having a massage therapy treatment (Look! Another Link!) for the nasty huge knot deep underneath my left shoulder blade. I figure it will take about 4 or 5 treatments to work the thing out, then a few more to make sure it doesn't come back. Regardless of the name of the place, these are not spa massages. They usually hurt like hell. These people dig their fingers into the knots and break them into smaller ones and then massage the smaller ones until they disappear. I just take deep breaths and endure it. The fresh water afterward helps. The pieces of chocolate in the bowl by the door help even more.

Saturday I'll be dragging my lazy, tired ass and sore shoulder to Columbus Circle at 10:30 AM to register for the Walk for Farm Animals. My friend Marisa is the organzier for the New York Walk, and how could I not go? Animal rights are a sensitive issue for me. I'm by no stretch of the imagination a vegetarian, but the extremes to which the farming industry goes are unecessary... I just think that chicken I'm going to eat ought to be able to peck and scratch contentedly until its head gets chopped off. And don't get me started on downers.

Sunday I'll be singing at my church's annual Blessing of the Animals service, where everyone brings in their pets (seriously) and the minister blesses them. Well, not everyone brings their pets, some just bring pictures. (I'll be bringing a picture. Marge would freak out.) It's a way of honoring their companionship, and the interdependent web of life of which we are all a part. Singing at church is a huge part of my faith.

This blog will get more personal at time goes on. Right now, the only people reading this are my friends... and thanks guys! Gimme a while, eventually I'll start making socio-political commentary and bitching about Yankee Games and whining about how boring top-40 radio is, and all the usual stuff that we seach for to read in blogs. I'll pepper my entries with quotes from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and describe the socks I'm wearing. It'll be great.

Oh yeah, and i'll get some pics too.