Today on the Job

This is like a Monty Python skit.

The first three items I open are drafts of a letter. This letter is a response to someone else's letter. I have not yet come across a final verion of this letter. Realizing I still have over two hunderd documents to examine, I title the document "Draft of response to Mr Xs Letter of 4-21-05."

The next item I open, titled "scan0001.pdf," is a 397 page document called "Form T3," which makes reference to some sort of finance deal. I realize as I scroll through that Form T3 is really only one page, and the rest is suporting documents.

The second Item I open, cryptically titled "cvs051122" contains the resumes of two people being considered for positions on the board of directors of one of the parties involved. From over one year ago.

This is what I did, all day today, from about 9am to 4:30. From 8:30 to 9, I met with an analyst about another deal, which is proving to be nowhere near the headache. How I long to return to that other deal. It will be my reward when I finish this one.

I might add that I normally begin my day at 8, but there were three traffic snarls on my way in, so my 30-45 minute morning commute took ninety minutes this morning. So I started the day on a low. Thank g-d for the free coffee.

For the sake of specificity, from about 9 to about 2:15 I was downloading these documents, knowing this analysis and ID process would follow. These documents were all attachments to various emails which were forwarded to me. The analyst involved literally forwarded to me everything in her email box containing the name of the deal. I received over 200 emails. Each email had at least one attachment - most had three or more. Some had ten. I retrieved around 300 documents in all. In no particular order, with names like "pdf051024" and "nameofdeal.xls."

Most of these attachments had similar, if not identical names. In order to save each attachment to the target location, it was necessary for me to first open each attachment, examine it, and create a unique name. Thank g-d for my literacy, and imagination.

So the actual process with which I begin this narrative has, in fact, only been ongoing for less than two hours. I am, however, already wondering how I can get this window open. I realize that I am only on the third floor, so in case the fall doesn't release me from this agony, I have equipped myself with a plastic knife from the cafeteria so that I may slit my wrists on the way down. I must be sure to jump headfirst.